Depending on where and when you are as you read this, you may just have experienced either the longest or the shortest day of the year, over the Solstice on December 21st.

I sometimes find the solstice points a useful time to change the way I’m looking at or thinking or feeling about something that might be bothering me at work or in my life generally.

If there’s anything you are struggling or having problems with, see if these questions from my thoughts about the solstice have anything to say to you:

• at work, or in your life generally, how do you know what the season is right now? Are you paying attention to the evidence around you, the changes in the length of the day, the reactions of others, the results you’re getting (or not)?

• one part of the Earth is experiencing the dark of the shortest day, and another part is at the start of summer, with the longest day; some parts of your work are in the dark but some will be in the light - which are they and which most needs your attention?

• although winter and summer can seem so different, they are actually just two sides of the one world - in fact, in some parts of the world, the dividing line is not so clear anyway; what if your problems and opportunities were also one and the same, without always a clear distinction?

• the solstice reminds me that we’re clinging to the surface of this beautiful, spinning world, hurtling through vast space at thousands of miles an hour! That usually puts my small problems into perspective, how about you?

• seasons change and in six months I’ll be putting on sunscreen for the longest day instead of remembering to wear my warm hat for the shortest; how will things be for you in six months?

Hope that’s of some small use. Happy Holidays!

A quick and easy, bite sized message this week, and a simply inspiring workshop recommendation for January.

If you’re feeling like you’ve got too much to do before year-end, and you maybe can’t see a clear way through, I’ve got a quick-fix that just might ring your bell. And there’s a graph!

Maybe you’ve heard of the 80:20 rule or the Pareto Principle before? Pareto was an Italian economist studying the distribution of wealth back in 1897. Along with other subsequent academics, he observed that many things are not distributed equally.

So, for example, it may often be the case that the first 20% of your effort on a particular task will produce 80% of the desired result.

Or, if you have ten things to do, it may often be that the top two things together are four times as important as all the rest.

Conversely, if you’re ‘chasing the tail’, you may find that the last 20% of the results on a task take 80% of your effort.

If you click on the chart, you should be able to download a bigger version.
At this time of year it becomes so important to keep prioritising using the Pareto Principle:

• Select the most important 20% of tasks first
• Give them focus, but only for the first 20% of your effort, to get 80% of the result
• Move on to the next most important task.

Sometimes people are concerned that this is cheating, or that it will never produce a perfect result. Well, I have a newsflash for those people - look at the top-right tail-end of the chart - you’ll never produce a perfect result either, but while you’re fussing over getting something perfect, I’ll have produced four times as much as you and it’ll be 80% right!

How’d you like to be able to find your passion and follow it in 2009?

If you’d like to get 2009 off to a fantastic start, two of my friends who are extremely experienced at helping people do just that are running an unmissable workshop. It’s from 9th-11th of January at the inspirational Commonwork Conference and Study Centre in Kent. To find out more or to go right ahead and book a place, you might want to browse on over to www.redkitecoaching.com

See you next week,

Nick

I had some fantastic coaching recently at an event I’d helped organise, right at the beginning, in the opening mingle. Prompted by my partner, I somehow manage to blurt out: “I’m normally such a ‘go to’ person, but for today, I want to explore attraction and mystery”.

That must have emerged from somewhere important and my partner was on to it straight away with a great request – “I request that you stand right there for the rest of the mingle and let people come to you.”

How about you – are you also mostly a ‘go to’ person?
Here’s some ways you can tell: 

1. you like to change or improve the things around you?
2. you prefer being in charge to following along?
3. you often see ways to help people and you make overtures of friendliness and help?
4. you want to be wanted?
5. you often start new activities and seek others to join in with you?
6. you believe in “the more, the merrier”?

Like I always say, these behaviours are not in themselves good or bad to have. However, if you only use these behaviours, you might be missing out on ways to get along with others or simply to have what you want with less effort.

Here’s some suggestions for alternative strategies to experiment with:

If you answered “yes” to questions 1 or 2, you might want to experiment like I did by waiting for other people to take the initiative. Think “still, inactive and attractive”.

If you answered “yes” to questions 3 or 4, you might want to experiment with being more deliberately selfish; take care of your own needs first and, if you must help others, try asking them what they want first.

If you answered “yes” to questions 5 or 6, you might want to experiment with silence and solitude. Be an observer of your impulses and see how many you can let pass, in favour of staying the course towards your true goals.

And the result of my experiment in that opening mingle?

Instead of working the room like I might usually do, I stood there for about 15 minutes, experiencing the joy of people coming up to me  - and at one point, there was a queue!

Dear Reader, 

I’m writing this just after breakfast with a very excited 5-year old pirate, as my son is dressed-up in recognition of World Book Day.

Us coaches love playing around with being different archetypal characters like this. It gives people access to attitudes and behaviours that everyone can do but which we somehow forget about in the ordinary course of things.

So, a pirate really knows how to challenge authority (not that my son needs any help with that!) and to selfishly indulge their appetites, and to weigh anchors at a moments notice and sail off in search of legendary treasure.

Robinson Crusoe is another favourite of mine; if I’m not feeling particularly resourceful or I’m concerned that I don’t have the things I need around me, I might step into being Crusoe for a couple of minutes - and that reminds me that with a little ingenuity I can create what I need from whatever is at hand.

Other archetypes I like playing around with myself include: Lord Byron - mad, bad and dangerous to know; Puck - mischevious, charming, shrewd and “knavish”; Bhudda - compassionate, connected, wise.

And how about you?

What behaviours or abilities do you need which an archetypal character would have?

Or maybe there’s a character in mind that you somehow know it’d be useful to play around with?

And if you were 5 years old and dressing up for World Book Day at school, who would you go as, and why?

Please write a comment in the box below or by clicking “comments” at the end of this message.

With best regards,

Executive Life Coaching for smart, motivated people.

Dear Reader,

I just came home from a few days away and my son Alex (5 and a half) does his usual flying leap to greet me - “Dad, dad, I’ve made my symbol!”

Which turns out to mean that he’s designed for himself the kind of symbol/logo that all his favourite cartoon characters (Power Rangers, “Super Robot Space Monkeys Hyperforce Go” etc) have on their costumes.

Alex describes his symbol as an upside down ‘V’, and it’s drawn in his usual dynamic, freehand style. I love this symbol, because it is such a good representation of him. He greets you like a flying V, and Alex doesn’t so much experience the world, rather the world experiences him! I don’t know what his inspiration for that symbol was, but I really am blown away by how it expresses so much about his essence.

Years ago my friend Rob, a graphic designer, and his partner did a logo for my coaching business, when it was called “Spindrift”. I still like that logo, because it has a harmony, balance, light ‘n’ dark, dynamic motion yet solid and ‘planted’ kind of thing about it. Here’s the symbol part of that logo.If I was to use this as a symbol for my essence now, I still think it’s pretty apt, but I’d maybe change the colours to have more danger and electricity about it, maybe pink, yellow, electric blue and black, like a tropical fish or a cool wetsuit (sorry Rob!).

And how about you?

If there was a symbol or a logo which described something about your essence - about how the world experiences you, what might that be?

If you would like to share your thoughts on your own logo or symbol, please scroll down to leave a comment. I can’t quite figure out how to let you upload images, but try cut’n'paste  - and also feel free to include hypertext links.

With best regards,

Executive Life Coaching for smart, motivated people.

Dear Reader,

Walking along a very busy street in London’s West End recently, I found it difficult to make my way. There were so many people; moving in different directions at different speeds, and I’m carrying my gym bag, managing to bump into nearly everybody - and not moving nearly as fast as I wanted to.

I tried harder to really focus on how and where people were moving - trying to spot who was heading on a collision course and which slow-movers I would need to duck around. Of course, that hard-focus just made it worse - no way could my brain keep track of all that information. And none of the Londoners around me were putting that much effort into it - how were they managing?

I remembered that I needed a ’softer’ focus - using my peripheral vision. And that I needed a wider awareness of the patterns and rhythms of movement - and that I had to somehow hand all that stuff over to my subconscious, while I got on with the business of getting to my meeting! Now I got it, I could move at whatever speed I wanted to, with the minimum of effort.

And I’m curious now about how this shows up for you at work?

How do you get in synch with the rhythms and patterns of other people?

How do you keep your awareness of what’s going on ’soft’ enough to spot the important trends, yet still include enough detail to get to where you need to go?

With best regards,

Executive Life Coaching for smart, motivated people.

Dear Reader,

After yesterday’s Remembrance Day events, I want to write about ’service’.

I’m nearly always moved to tears by the sight of those old soldiers and airmen and other service people marching to the Cenotaph and the looks on their faces as they remember fallen comrades.

What must it have been like to be expected to give that much?

If I sent you my CV you’d probably say that there’s been (and still is) a lot of ’service’ - for charity and business and such, in my life and work. Yet for me, that’s pretty much always been a very calculated decision - what do I stand to gain or learn, and what will it ‘cost’ me?

 - and when the balance changes so that the cost is too far in excess of the benefits, I’ve been ruthless in knowing when to move on.

Yet I’ve been around enough different people and have coached for so long now, that I know that not everybody makes that calculation. For many people it seems to me that the ’service’ IS the equation.

As luck would have it, one of my spare time activities recently reached the point where the effort I’m putting in now outweighs what I’d usually regard as payback - by quite some margin. Almost daily I’m tempted to move on; and almost daily I’m drawn to stay, and see what it’s like to just serve. Maybe there’s something else in the equation - even beyond the immediate learning around the usual kind of Servant Leadership stuff - that I instinctively feel but haven’t consciously understood yet?

Help me out here.
Does this kind of thing turn up in your life and work too?
How do you decide to ’serve’, if at all?
What calculations do you make about it?

Will you take a moment please to add your thoughts and comments to this message on my blog, by scrolling down to “Leave a comment”?

You can also see what others have already said and even explore around to read previous messages and comments.

Best regards,

Executive Life Coaching for smart, motivated people.

PS. Next week I’m going to ask YOU to write my Monday Message. I’ll send you a brief reminder and a link to the relevant blog comment section. Then it’ll be up to you - watch this space!

Dear Reader,

If you’re reading this in the UK and most of Europe, then you should have put your clocks back an hour on Sunday morning. North Americans still have a week to go. (Click here for more info).

I reckon that how we respond to those kinds of ‘external structural changes’ (like the clocks altering) says a lot about who we might be as a person and as a leader or manager.

For example, do you anticipate such changes and get ready for their impact - or do you overlook them and just fail to see it coming?

And do you embrace change, surfing through what’s happening - or do you resent it or maybe even suffer because of it?

I thought it might be interesting to put those in a classic 2 x 2 matrix (what else is an MBA for?).

Which of these is most like you in dealing with an external change - perhaps in regard to something like the clocks changing or even a major re-org in your business?

It’d be great to have your answers and comments on this or other messages on my blog, so if you’d like to post comments or see what others have written, please scroll down to the “Leave a Comment” section.

Best regards,

 
Executive Life Coaching for smart, motivated people.

Dear Reader,

A thought this week about more subtle methods of success.

Just down the road from me is Jodrell Bank, which earlier this month hosted a conference to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the “space age”.

One of the topics discussed was what to do about the risk of the Earth getting hit by a large asteroid. And it seems the scientific consensus is not now to blast these with nukes, but to launch lots of mirrors into space, shine them on the asteroid and let the reflected power of the sun heat up one side of the rock and push it gently away.

Since my natural style of doing anything is usually the nuke-em and clean up after approach, this is an interesting shift. Approaching leadership tasks slowly and gently, and using oblique or even reflected power would be a useful thing for me to try more often!

How about you; what would be your equivalent at work, or in the rest of your life, of using lots of little mirrors reflecting the suns rays to help with your difficult jobs?

With best regards,

Executive Life Coaching for smart, motivated people.

A funny thing happens at NRHQ towards the end of every month.

First, I start thinking I’d better get a move on and write something worth sending out in my e-newsletter.

Then, about 3 or 4 days after that, I get my mate Tony Barton’s fantastic e-newsletter, where he usually says something about how he didn’t know what to write until he sat down to write it - or he writes a paean to his dog or best mate or something and somehow manages to link it to an especially interesting bit of self-development and coaching. “Damn, I say to myself every month, “that guy’s good, why didn’t I think of doing that?”. [Click here for a taste of Tony]

And then I’m thinking, right, I’ll just do it like Tony did, I just need to sit down and go for it - and that usually takes a few days, until…

Along comes my mate Nick Martin’s e-newsletter, usually explaining how he left it until the last minute of the month to send out (and I’m thinking “Oh b@ll@cks, I still haven’t done mine!).

I’m sure Nick won’t mind if I reproduce some of the gem that was his e-newsletter this month so long as I tell you how to get in touch with him (which I’ll have to do - because he doesn’t have a website).

[Click here to get in touch with Nick Martin by email] 

Here’s what Nick M had to say:

“When I first started doing this newsletter, I had the intention of doing it once a month, during the last complete week of the month. Well, if I am to consider this edition to be my July newsletter, then that self-imposed deadline came and went a week ago.”

Then he goes on to make a really useful distinction between a ‘reason’ for not doing something and an ‘excuse’:

“Excuses are a great way of avoiding responsibility for our own acts (or omissions), and of trying to shift the blame on to someone else, or external circumstances, or the dog… Next time you find yourself saying, “I can’t do that because…”, just ask yourself if what follows is a reason or an excuse.

“By the way, choosing not to to do x because y is more appealing could be a great reason. For example (planning ahead a bit for myself here), “I didn’t do the housework this afternoon because I chose to go out for a ride on my bike instead”. I just have to be honest with myself about it!”

That last bit is the crucial bit for me right now. I’m choosing not to send out my e-newsletter this month (well, last month now actually and maybe this month AS WELL) because  what I really want to do is fire up this blog and write here when I DO actually feel like writing.