Back in to work from just over two weeks’ holiday today and I’m feeling really disorientated. Not sure even what day it is!

I guess yesterday’s bank holiday makes it feel a little strange to be starting back on a Tuesday, and I had got into the habit of giving myself a few days to acclimatise after holidays - but just couldn’t do that this year without saying “no” to some things I want to do.

Oh well, it’ll be interesting to experience today from an “Er, who am I? where am I?” kind of perspective. Not much clarity around here today - and that’ll bring some useful learning itself, I’m sure.

There’s a picture of the lovely Pembrokeshire coast, so I don’t forget why it’s worth not having a clue about anything today!

My wife and I watched “Educating Rita” on TV at the weekend. I hadn’t seen this film for a long time and was really moved by it. The way that Willy Russell portrays education as a means of changing your circumstances is an uplifting message.

And I also loved Frank’s (Michael Caine) gradual descent into self-destruction and his eventual redemption. In coaching we have a saying about teaching what you need to learn and a belief that the right “pupils” show-up just as the teacher needs to learn something. I thought this film showed that to perfection.

Even better than that though was how this film reminded me of what it feels like to be hungry for knowledge, simply for the sake of the discovery involved.

I’ve recently signed-up for the next bit of my personal and professional education (that’s neat eh, two-in-one), with the Northern School of NLP - 5 four-day weekends for the “Practitioner” stage and then I’ll probably go on to the “Master Practitioner”; so I’m feeling a little of that hunger to learn myself. And this time of year always feels like a good time to be planning the next learning - back to school in September.

Interestingly, the Economist Pocket World in Figures has the UK ranked 16th in the world in terms of the numbers of people enrolled in tertiary education, so I guess there are plenty of Rita’s still not getting educated here.

A funny thing happens at NRHQ towards the end of every month.

First, I start thinking I’d better get a move on and write something worth sending out in my e-newsletter.

Then, about 3 or 4 days after that, I get my mate Tony Barton’s fantastic e-newsletter, where he usually says something about how he didn’t know what to write until he sat down to write it - or he writes a paean to his dog or best mate or something and somehow manages to link it to an especially interesting bit of self-development and coaching. “Damn, I say to myself every month, “that guy’s good, why didn’t I think of doing that?”. [Click here for a taste of Tony]

And then I’m thinking, right, I’ll just do it like Tony did, I just need to sit down and go for it - and that usually takes a few days, until…

Along comes my mate Nick Martin’s e-newsletter, usually explaining how he left it until the last minute of the month to send out (and I’m thinking “Oh b@ll@cks, I still haven’t done mine!).

I’m sure Nick won’t mind if I reproduce some of the gem that was his e-newsletter this month so long as I tell you how to get in touch with him (which I’ll have to do - because he doesn’t have a website).

[Click here to get in touch with Nick Martin by email] 

Here’s what Nick M had to say:

“When I first started doing this newsletter, I had the intention of doing it once a month, during the last complete week of the month. Well, if I am to consider this edition to be my July newsletter, then that self-imposed deadline came and went a week ago.”

Then he goes on to make a really useful distinction between a ‘reason’ for not doing something and an ‘excuse’:

“Excuses are a great way of avoiding responsibility for our own acts (or omissions), and of trying to shift the blame on to someone else, or external circumstances, or the dog… Next time you find yourself saying, “I can’t do that because…”, just ask yourself if what follows is a reason or an excuse.

“By the way, choosing not to to do x because y is more appealing could be a great reason. For example (planning ahead a bit for myself here), “I didn’t do the housework this afternoon because I chose to go out for a ride on my bike instead”. I just have to be honest with myself about it!”

That last bit is the crucial bit for me right now. I’m choosing not to send out my e-newsletter this month (well, last month now actually and maybe this month AS WELL) because  what I really want to do is fire up this blog and write here when I DO actually feel like writing.

I’m a little annoyed at the moment.

Just took action on something which I consider important. I knew it was going to upset some people and even though there were several ways to go about it, only the “do nothing” option would NOT have upset any of them. And even then, the “do nothing” option would potentially leave many more people ‘upset’ (and much worse) in the longer-term.

So the backlash has begun and I’m annoyed because even though that backlash is understandable - I’ve ruffled some feathers and put some people awkwardly on the spot and you’d have to be a robot for that not to create an emotional reaction - I’m still hearing bizzare things. Stuff like: “we need to fix the communications gap that made you feel you had to do it this way”. Er, OK yeah - and how about if we try fixing the main issue itself first?!

Nobody’s mentioned “Lone Ranger” syndrome yet - at least not to my face, but you can guarantee it’ll come up. And that’ll push my buttons, because I know that there IS a part of me that charges off to sort stuff out without worrying if everybody agrees on that being the best way to do it. I don’t think that did happen this time around, but I’m still sensitive about it.

Perhaps it’ll make me feel slightly less hot under the collar if I put some stakes in the ground for this kind of situation - so here they are:

- I’m quite happy to be proved wrong, provided I have weighed-up the issues;

- in the absence of a potential change in circumstances sometime in the acceptable future, I’ll choose to go for action sooner rather than later;

- if that’s the trade-off, I’ll risk sacrificing niceness and approval for doing what I believe to be right.

And I notice how defensive this feels as I write it, and my chin’s out, like I’m expecting a fight. Have I done something stupid? Ask me in a couple of years when the results are in.